I am so disturbed right now.
I know there are creepy people out there, and especially on the internet anything can happen. But I think i'm even more creeped out because it's just not me that has been affected, it's Vinnie too.
So I KNOW
I'm looking good pregnant. I know I'm carrying well, and I'm so lucky to not have gained weight anywhere else. And I am proud of it. I hate being big, but at least people can tell I'm pregnant, and aren't mistaking me for being fat.
At first I was flattered, not I'm just creeped out.
First off, in pretty much all my about me's all over the place, I've been writing less + less about me and just doing things like "24.Married.KnockedUp.Rock+Roll"
sort of thing. Really to the point. On Flickr I get a msg from a guy asking me where in California I come from ((lol, it's just my faux last name!)) and that he'd love to see photos of me knocked up. Well. Ok. Whatever. I didn't reply, I didn't send any photos.
Then on Deviant Art I upload those pretty pics of me + tim in black + white. A user called StuffedBellyLover favourites them and comments. I take it at first as flattery, and respond. Then I go to their gallery. They don't have a userpic at all and theire gallery is full of photos of progressive pictures of girls showing off how slim they are, then eating heaps of food and finishing with shots of their swollen bellies. There's HEAPS of these kinds of photos. And they do these cartoons ((like a little kid has drawn them)) of people tricking each other into eating too much food. It's like porn, but with bellies.
So now I don't know what to do. I love those pics, but I don't like the idea that it's turnign someone on? Well that's what I assume is happening. I know I can't stop people being like that, but I'm just, feeling awkward.
Then I uploaded yesterday a pic of me in that checkered hoodie ((have I put it on here yet? I don't think I have..)). Anyway, on devart I get this message that people have added it to their favourites. Awesome, I made it! I always thank people for Favouriting my stuff, and in one of their journals I realise they have no uploaded pics at all, they just have an account to favourite everything. I go into it + there's all these pregnant ones. Luckily this is one of me fully covered up, not half naked like the ones I did with Tim. I look at the other pics in the gallery and there's ones where people have cut + pasted someone's face onto a pregnant woman's body. As a REQUEST.
I'll link you guys to the head request one. It's weird. I don't think it's SUPPOSED to be creepy, I don't know. Here.
I'm so so creeped out. I mean, I hate it when i'm outside + someone wolf whistles at me. I know that sometimes if they're coming from behind they can't tell I'm pregnant, but its gross. And when guys check me out when they walk past me when its OBVIOUS I'm pregnant.
I just feel like, I dunno, violated? i don't care if people look at me, check me out, whatever. I'm used to people looking at me, and sometimes they are
just looking at me, not even checking me out. I guess I'm interesting looking, lol ((and I'm starting to hate all this because it makes me sound like I'm up myself)). But the fact is, I have a tiny little baby inside me. A little boy I have to protect + look after, and even though he's not even out yet, it's creeping me out people are looking at me as an object of desire, when there's another innocent little person in the equation.
Am I just being paranoid? I'm not scared, just disturbed.